


Your touch still burns on my skin

by Quagswagging



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Arguing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Misunderstandings, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 02:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20667578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quagswagging/pseuds/Quagswagging
Summary: Kevin wants nothing more than a Soulmate, but when he realises Nico is the one who belongs with him, he isn't so sure it about it anymore





	Your touch still burns on my skin

Kevin woke with a start, blinking heavily against the bright light streaming through the curtains. His head hurt and he groaned, quickly closing his eyes again. He went rigid as a warm arm was slung over his waist, pulling him into a warm chest. 

“Stop moving.” The familiar, German voice grumbled against the top of his head, before the man’s breathing evened out again. 

Panic clutched at Kevin’s chest as he craned his head around, finding Nico cuddled against his back. Flashes of the night before came back to him suddenly, and Kevin curled into himself as he tried not to cry.

There was no denying he had always had feelings for the Nico, hidden somewhere deep down under the mask of hatred he carried for the German. But the feelings were no use. Nico did truly dislike him, and Kevin was rather certain the pretty brunette he had seen with with must be his Soulmate. There was no room for Kevin in any of this, and he was better of continuing to hate the German.

Kevin shuddered and carefully wiggled himself out of Nico’s arms. As he gazed down on the German’s sleeping form, he remembered vaguely how kind Nico had been with him, all soft touches and gentle words as he had made Kevin tremble and whimper under him. Kevin had never felt as satisfied after spending the night with someone, and yet he had ever felt more miserable. 

He got dressed quickly and quietly, glancing back at Nico’s sleeping form a few times. The German was still curled on his side, his hand placed on the area Kevin had occupied before. Kevin let out a shaky breath and hesitantly walked over to lean over the bed, his lips lightly brushing over Nico’s temple. With a melancholic smile, Kevin left the room, closing the door behind him just as Nico woke up and breathed out his name.

Kevin had to forget Nico’s kindness, Nico’s love, or he would truly be fucked.

~~~~

It was the next morning that Kevin found the Soulmark, curled over his hipbone. Kevin cried over it, for there was no denying what this meant. Nico Hülkenberg was his Soulmate, and Kevin doubted this would be the happily ever after he had always hoped for. 

He rubbed his fingers over it until the skin was red and raw, but the Mark was not removable. Kevin searched through his toiletry bag and got out a razor, his breathing raggedly as he brought the razor to the skin of his hip. He had to get rid of the Mark, he just had to. Whatever fate had in store for him, it would never work. Nico would clearly never love him, would never care for him the way Kevin cared for the German.

Kevin would forever be alone, and he resigned to that fate.

~~~~  
A spark of hope settled in Kevin’s chest as Nico sought him out at the next race, but that spark quickly died down as he saw the tense look on Nico’s face.

“Did you tell her?” he snapped at Kevin. Kevin blinked in confusion and took a step away from the taller man. 

“What are you talking about?” he asked with a frown. Nico sneered at him and grabbed his arm, pulling him into a more secluded area of the Paddock and pushing him up against the wall.

“Egle. You must have told Egle you… we-” he didn’t seem able to actually say the words. Kevin, ignoring the pain in his arms from where Nico’s fingers were digging into his skin, huffed.

“That we had sex? No, I didn’t tell her.” he said with a shrug. It was the truth, but Nico didn’t seem to believe him. 

“You fucking asshole, you told her! She left without a word, blocked me everywhere, this must be your fault!” he hissed. Kevin shook his head, trying to free himself from Nico’s grasp.

“I didn’t! There is no reason for me to be petty after a one night stand.” he hissed. Nico scoffed.

“You always try to make my life miserable, I bet that’s why you lured me into having sex with you, you little slut.” he snapped in return, fingers closing around Kevin’s throat. Kevin’s eyes widened and he let out a choked gasp as the pressure against his sternum increased. 

“Nico…” he whimpered, a pain clutching at his chest which had nothing to do with the pain of his neck. Momentarily, Nico’s face softened, before only hardening more. 

“I got a Soulmark, it must be hers.” he continued. “We were meant to be and you drove us apart.” he added in a hiss, pressure on Kevin’s throat increasing again. Kevin shook his head, letting out a choked sound.

“Stop, please…” he whispered brokenly, his chest starting to hurt more and more with each word Nico hissed in his face. Nico chuckled humorlessly, free hand tangling into Kevin’s hair to tug his head back, forcing Kevin to look at him. The German’s blue eyes were wide, filled with panic, anger, and so, so much pain

“I hate you.” he spat out, but his voice was wavering ever so slightly. Kevin let out a pained moan and closed his eyes, his legs giving in under him. Nico stepped back and let go of him, the Dane sliding to the floor with ragged, wheezing breaths straining his chest. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Nico snarled, but more in confusion than in wrath. Kevin could not respond, drifting in and out of consciousness as he sobbed and clawed at his hip. 

Rushed footsteps neared them and Kevin tensed, trying to curl into himself.

“What’s going on?” a first voice asked. Kevin wearily opened his eyes to see Kimi had grabbed Nico’s shoulder, shaking the German a little as the tall Renault driver seemed at a loss for words. A second man, Valtteri, had knelt down in front of Kevin and clasped the Dane’s face between his hands, trying to get Kevin to focus on something he was saying. Kevin whimpered and closed his eyes. He was so tired, and the pain was getting too much. He clumsily patted at Valtteri’s hand and then at his hip, hoping the Finn would understand. Valtteri frowned, before dragging the side of Kevin’s track pants down. 

“Kimi, look.” the Mercedes driver said wearily. Kimi let go of Nico and leaned in to glance at Kevin’s hip. His eyes widened and he drew in a sharp breath, before gently caressing Kevin’s hair.

“Oh darling.” he sighed. 

The skin on Kevin’s hip was red and raw. Thin, angry looking cuts and scratches ran over the swirled Mark, which was slowly started to lose it’s vibrancy. Kevin glanced at Nico, but the German had averted his eyes, hands trembling at his sides

“Let’s get you inside.” Valtteri told Kevin, taking his arms to help him up. Kevin struggled to support his weight on his legs. His eyes hadn’t left Nico’s, and he whimpered.

“Nico, please don’t reject me…” Kevin rambled, reaching out for the German. Nico seemed rooted to the spot, his eyes wide. Kimi glanced back and forth between the two and then pushed Nico closer to Kevin.

“Hold him, or you’ll lose him.” he said urgently. Nico didn’t seem to understand what was going on, but allowed Kevin to rest against his chest, wrapping his arms around the Dane’s waist to hold him up. 

“What happened to you.” he whispered, following after Valtteri and Kimi. He opted to lift the younger man as Kevin seemed unable to walk. Kevin was crying, hands holding on tightly to Nico’s shirt.

“Please don’t reject me, please…” he whimpered. Nico kept quiet, carrying Kevin into Kimi’s driver room and setting him on the sofa.

“I don’t- what’s happening.” Nico whispered as he placed Kevin on the sofa, the Dane whimpering as his back hit the pillows. 

“His Soulmate rejected him.” Kimi explained. “And judging by how he reacts to you, you are the Soulmate.” he added. Nico’s eyes widened.

“N-no.... I got a Mark, but it must be Egle’s and-” he fell silent as Valtteri showed him the Mark. Nico’s lips parted slightly in disbelief, and then silently knelt down next to the sofa, brushing his fingers over Kevin’s cheek.

“It hurts…” the Dane choked out, eyes opening ever so slightly. Nico started to cry then, sob making him shudder as he leaned in to brush his lips over Kevin’s.

“I’m so sorry. I’m not rejecting you, I- oh god Kevin, I love you.” he whispered over and over again. Kevin curled closer to him, sighing against his lips and eventually slipping off the sofa and onto Nico’s lap. Nico rocked him from side to side, smiling shakily as Kevin buried his face into his neck.

He knew he had loads to still apologise for, that he still had to build their trust up again. But it would be worth it, He had a Soulmate now, a Soulmate which he had hurt and needed all the comfort in the world.

“I won’t ever hurt you again.” Nico whispered against Kevin’s lips.

And he meant it.


End file.
